Dude, where’ s my ..croak..?

and….. in three… two …. one…



That’s exactly it and this is a perfect challenge for it actually. I have a real story in mind but it’s taking my brain a really long time to put the words together. Simply because the words just keep popping from my heart and my head seems to be filtering them i end up with either too much jumbled words that it makes no sense; or too many has been filtered that I’m left with none. And yes, the only word that best fits everything is that scream write there…..





now that.. is relaxing


Day 14 : Hey Awesome You


Hey, “It wasn’t always that way”

My bike betrayed me today. I biked up the hill in the back of our house just in time for the sunset. Sunsets. I loved the serenity the sundown gives. But for some reason my bike was having its share of hiccups lately. Halfway up, the chains loosened up I had to get off sacrificing few seconds of the beautiful sight. At that time I thought of finally getting rid of the bike. But thanks to you after being able to put the chain back on the plate, I got lost in the view of the orange sky and realized you were right. and because of you, I am holding on to the bike few more days, months, years? Maybe.

Because Hey, “It wasn’t always that way”

I had a heated argument with my boss hours before i rode up that hill. The very reason why I was able to bike up before sun down. I had to take a breather. I’ve been working my ass for a whole month now. The sales were coming my way big time and I was always almost beyond my quota. But again, you are right. Today was supposedly the performance rating I am looking forward to. With my volume, I can vouch for a much awaited promotion. I thought this month’s performance can make up for the other months my performance were just at par with the expectation. I opened the letter with the assessment and was shocked. I reasoned with the boss with full heart laying down my highly outstanding performance for this month. Guess what? You are the very reason he gave me why I am not getting that promotion.

Hey, “It wasn’t always that way”

There is a cliff on that hill. Just over it, the sea water crash mightily on the sides. I summed up the energy I’ve invested in hope to  cop out the previous month -work and life that is. I recalled the time i pushed myself projecting sales on my desk on a date night  just because my husband called off the date because he wasn’t feeling good. I was fighting off the woman’s notion that there is another woman he is fooling around with. We’ve had fights because of my paranoia. I’m partly afraid. Everytime he says he is tired and wants to watch the TV all night, i felt like he gave up on me. The cycle starts there.

I looked down the cliff and wondered what it would be like to break the cycle, maybe. Just to crash to the side letting the wave carry me to slam. But then again you are right. We may have had nights when both of us do not seem to be the person we imagined to settle down with. But you give hope to the reality or reality to the hope.

When finally you get to realize things have gone far enough, that’s when he starts to be the same guy he was before there were rings on our finger.

You are right, “It wasn’t always that way”. You are right.

Without you i may not have turned my back to the cliff, rode my bike back down the hill, walked into the house and to the dining room to find my husband waiting on one end of our table holding out a chair for me. He prepared a surprise candle light dinner for two. He cooked. There he is my knight. Reminding me and wiping out all that notion of reaching end – of giving up.

Reminding me of you.

Hey “It wasn’t always that way”, you are great.



CREATE stored procedure of enormous ideas to be productive.
I DECLARE @hunger varchar (1000).

You know that moment when you cannot quite figure out what to make of your day or mood. I have to be tapping codes instead I’m tapping words in.
In the middle of my thinking anyway I get lost in all the jumbled scenarios in my head when the only question in my head is:

What do i want to happen now?

Read Up Project 4: The Single Woman


Mandy Hale is indeed a blessing – and a timely one indeed. This is one woman who found her calling to be single for now a powerful standpoint to encourage other people who may be battling with their esteems just because their fingers aren’t entangled with their “better half”.  Real, practical and acknowledging God along the way – my kind of real-life writeups.

Now that I found a book with an affirmation that our society has a screwed-up perception on singlehood, I am looking for writeups of people who hasn’t have, in their entire life, found or thought they found their husband-to-be. Any suggestions?