note to self: one source of ouch

Pain is not absent in this world. No matter how strong any man is, there is a threshold of tolerance in keeping pain managed. humanity. Some pain can be caused by external factors i.e. another human being. While some are caused by internal factors.

Today I learned that most pain we feel are self-inflicted. And most of these self-inflicted pain is also a result of the stack of decisions we did prior to when our senses finally said enough.

I am in pain – feeling neglected.

but it must partly be because i set myself up for it.

what was i thinking?

i was thinking maybe i could have at least had that slight chance of getting considered. Whats the proper word for it? considered that i could have been waiting and a word to tell me not to could have led me to a better decision to no longer wait. This is just lunch break by the way. So yeah it could be a small thing but somehow my feeling says it’s overwhelmingly recognizeable enough i had to engrave it in words.

there is just so much welling up from my heart and it is a battle of whether should i be angry or not.

should i communicate the pain but then what? build up another neglect on me?

how many times have i found myself in this position? and why am i not quick enough to save my own self from being placed in this similar situation?

well i guess, the fact that i simply cannot hold myself back from considering some people, the risk of which is that some will not be as considerate, is the reason why.

we always give a stab at trusting human beings to be as considerate when in fact,

some people would just be unaware of that…
some people may give a damn and some don’t

sometimes i give a damn and sometimes i don’t.

i guess i am just at the receiving end of the “dont”.





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