Every Strand Counts

About 5 years ago I went thru some kind of something. Hahah even now I cannot quite put it in as a “medical condition” or anything else. Because I was not sick. I was not feeling ill either.
.

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Thankful for each

It just so happened that my mom got alarmed at the clumps of hair clogging our drainage in the bathroom upstairs. There’s just two persons using the upstairs bathroom – me and her. Mom’s hair is short. My hair is long. The hair clump in the strainer is unfortunately long.

Hair fall. So what? They say hair fall of some hundreds of strand is normal. Although that may be true, it is also true that at some point there is a chance that the hair falls are faster than the cycle of the hair growing back.

But of course I did not know that until that time when my mom expressed it.

I was not affected. I knew the first truth on the normal hundred hair falls a day. I have this habit of playing with how i split my hair (though i am not very keen on hairstyling. Its just a hobby). I face the mirror start with my bangs, trace a trail to split my hair on each side from the trail…. and while i was at it, an unusual gap came into view.

It.
Shocked.
Me.

I stared. I blinked. And it is still there.

It.
Was.
Not amusing.

It.
Was.
A little bigger than a quarter.

I knew it was not normal.

It took me a lot of courage to let a voice out of my mouth asking, ” Mom, what do you think this is?”. You see I am a quiet kid. I do not speak a lot about my worries. But this one really concerned me as even I cannot explain it. I felt cold suddenly.

My mom looked at it and knew it was connected to the hair clumps clogging the drain.

I.
Felt.
Weak.

My mom was quick to research on what it is. Being a nurse she is aware of this case. Alopecia areata. The research says. She asks if there are more spots and i think i would not like to know then. If i find out if there was more, i’m probably going to faint ..

..or cry….

…or both..

We quickly looked for specialists to look into my “case”. A doctor looked into it, administered steroid shots on the area. Explained that stress may have caused it. She asked if i am a Type A – personality of the” strict and the must and the shoulds”.  I am.

We went to another doctor. Although yes part of me would believe that stress caused it, i think me and my mom would like to know what else is there. The next doctor recommended me for tests. Thats more like it. Thyroid. Lupus. Negative. And we are back to stress.

The second doctor explained possible causes and yes we still boiled down to stress. The most recommended while my scalp recovers from a stuck-up cycle and my immune system seem to be confused with good cells and bad cells, doctor recommended to stay away from extreme emotions. Balance.

That was years ago. But the whole scene was still fresh. It was a scene of disbelief and yet experiencing God’s embrace through out. I stayed out of hair treatments or anything that may involve even justva little pull at my hair and scalp. The alopecia experience reminded me to stay calm and pray a lot and be mindful of my thoughts.Checking my scalp for tightness every once in a while also helped to check if i am giving myself a hard time or not.

It is weakening enough to be finding yourself losing hair and it doubles at the thought that at the lens of social area i will be looked at. People will be asking “what is wrong?” – a question that even I do not know the answer to.

I have recovered from that bald spot.
Ever since the bald patch on my scalp grew hair, I .always had that hope that my scalp is cooperating well. Every baby hair or groups of baby hair i see sticking out after shower brings me to a thankful daily start.

The case of alopecia that time is rare. But i think the case of it is starting to grow. My heart is with everyone else who is going through this. And i am also praying that their hair will grow back also.

Every baby hair sticking out  counts. My heart still panics everytime a hair strand falls even when im just simply sitting down. But i am also quick to remind myself not to.

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