I stared at the sky as the sun sets. My view of the sun is obstructed by a higher ground with grass but the sunset was magical anyway. The glow of its magnificence spreads to the clouds.
The sunset in Manila never fails me. Its always majestic.
Trust IS a big word – apart from the inside joke in the movie “It Takes a Man and A Woman.”
Everyday it seems that God does introduce His word repetitively until it makes sense to us. I may have been acquainted with the verse below since the first time my dad introduced it during family devotions:
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; 6 iIn all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct* your paths
In one vantage view, it seems simple – TRUST. But when the thought digs deeper it’s not as easy at as it seems. BECAUSE TRUSTING GOD will test your own UNDERSTANDING.
… 2016 will be filled with lots of adventure I will be asked to Trust God into. I bet.
so what happened in my 2-day-2-night solo stay in La Union?
It was a hit two birds in one stone thing:
1.) It is in my bucket list to be able to travel alone (drive or fly). What’s it like to be a lone stranger in any place at all.
2.) My heart has been longing for a timeout since mid December. For some reason although i got to sneak in a moment of alone time with God i somehow feel that I was and am too busy to digest everything in. I needed to pause.
The 7-hour travel was fun on the first 4 hours. The excitement was there. Yes, it was 7 hours. After the TPLEX , some towns beyond had complete stand still moments comprising the next 3 hours. I didn’t stop for lunch because I was trying to arrive in the area BEFORE lunch so I would have ample time to rest and relax before hitting the waves if ever it got irresistable. The venti caramel macchiato helped a lot plus the marshmallows i brought with me.
I could say during that traffic time, I had already a good deal of alone time with God. That’s one thing I discovered when I had my own car – I can pray out loud.
I brought books to read for the timeout. What I used mainly for the main agenda in my trip was “Hearing God’s Voice” by Vern Heidebrecht. It was a rather fitting read since that is what I want to hear at that time while hearing the angry roar of the waves crashing into each other as it come from whichever side it wants to come from.
I opened another book mid-way since i remembered having the book curious about it – “Praying for Your Elephant”.
I got encouraged to continue with my journaling.
I got reminded that praying is more than just getting answers but it is about my relationship with God – He reveals Himself to me emphasizing His being a Father and not my genie .
Matthew 7: 7-9
7“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 8“For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. 9“Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?
Somewhere along the way, He said,
Trust me (Proverb 3:5-6)
I am doing something new (Isaiah 43:19)
I need to put my head on things that concern God (Matthew 16:23 … this tackles over sentimentality on things i think)
I am set apart ( I forgot my verse)..
My journey continues on and did not end in that trip. I am very very very relaxed and very very much at peace getting His mind on things and me being able to lay down my concerns to Him. Now i am more excited letting 2016 roll. I know from experience that normally the NEW THINGS He would do is not somethign that is always pleasureable. If it is, then i doubly praise God for allowing me to walk in His will and if it is not, I praise Him nonetheless for showing me areas I needed His grace.
To God be the Glory!
I wasn’t able to add more in the entry yesterday. So far, no rainbows. It is rather gloomy still and really cloudy. The waves were wild yesterday. We’ll see today if i can snag time to surf -wave permitting, that is.
The travel to here was crazy. it took me around 7 hours – left manila around 7:30am; gassed up and left for the road for real at 8:05-ish; got stuck exiting the metro; stopped over till 10am-ish in Bulacan; drove with only lay-by stops (just to experience it) all the way to The Little Surfmaid. The traffic was heavy probably because most people are going up to Baguio for the long weekend plus the Penagbenga festival that I am YET to experience.
Thanking God for the safekeeping, the moment I checked in and dropped my bags, i went out to walk, shoot and FIND FOOD. I was famished. Went to other resort for a late lunch. I also checked out Flotsam and Jetsam – the place i will be moving accommodations to later. Pretty neat that place. Went to El Union Cafe to try their s’mores. There IS no stramger in La Union. I had to share the HUGE serving of s’mores. It is, after all, for sharing. Through the s’mores I got to talk to people who were hanging out at the bar. Unfortunately, i cannot remember their names. THAT is so me.
Went back to Flotsam for the open movie. So far, i enjoyed the chill moment. That was my first open space movie since The Jesus Film. I had to end the night earlier than everyone else. I felt the toll of the travel getting on me. I wanted BED. So I went back to prep for the ultimate reason why i threw myself finally on a long trip north SOLO – to get my thoughts together, lay it before God and get the healing i need. So i can get back on track.
Been dreaming of this time. I finally got the courage to drive North to La Union.
Left the house at 7:30am. I went out to get cash near the Shell station where i fueled up to 700php of nitro plus. Let us see how much Nikki will consume.
At 7:54am i was cruising taft avenue. Traffic is heavy and almost unmoving along A. Bonifacio Ave. Time check, 8:50am with a full bladder. My planned stopover is not till an hour away. A/C is off for now.
It is rather a gloomy day. I am not complaining because on other glorious sunny days, around this time of 8:52am the sun will be beating really hard and will hurt my eyes a bit. So this is good.
Besides a bit of rain is a promise of a rainbow. I am crossing my fingers for a rainbow – God willing. Not only for this day but for the whole time i will be spending the weekend in La Union.
I hope to find God’s smile and peace after this trip. I am disconnected and disorganized in every way possible i needed this time out.
Waiting for my laptop to boot and enjoying the feel of a very full stomach aftwr eating a hefty lunch of katsudons and the endless cabbage, my eyes landed on this pen. In my mind, my hand swiftly picks it up and my mind started to look for any blank sheets of paper to write into. Any piece. Any size. Post its. Anything incan scribble on. I can write a lot of things with that pen.
In my head, i have written plays, screen plays, poems, sonnets, essays, everything…
In my mind….
I never thought i would really try. But my curiosity with a load full of frustration and anger prodded me to think that the plan was a good idea. After crying my eyes out and screaming inside my car to let off some steam and just pour out my heart to Jesus, I decided I cannot come home yet because it’s too early. I wanted a bit of peace. I wanted a bit of a chill out. The beauty of living in the google-era, I got to know which places I may want to hangout. I am longing for a little cove. A hideout. In case I needed a place to recuperate and get my head straight. I am hoping for a high place overlooking the city or whichever field . But I doubt I will get that that night. My heart settled for one of the music bars I’ve been trying to find someone to tag along.
After the belt out in the car and my eyes a bit puffed, I asked God to get me to do something that will make me smile and calm down. Or simply get busy. What a better way to start what I just read that morning which suggests that there is gold in people watching, eavesdropping, etcetera.
I was sure I wanted music. I wanted less crowd. Except that I was by myself. But so what, right? So I went.
It was a hump day. Not even a pay out day so I was sure it would be less crowded and I was right. No door charge. Finding a seat was not hard because one of the waitresses approached me and asked if i wanted a seat. I told her it is for one and I want to be seated in a discreet place – where the chances of me being spotted all by myself in such a setting by someone I know is very slim. She placed me on the side. I ordered a bar chow of cheese sticks and strawberry mojito. I was just there to chill. The place is dim which is perfect in case another tear rolls down my cheeks.
A band was setting up on the stage. I did not check who is performing that night and I have conditioned myself to accept that it coud be somee indie band. But no it was not! it was a famous local band.- Side A. I was stoked!
I liked the songs they sang. I enjoyed the night that way. I was thankful for the non-obligated chitchat even for strangers. I was barely even looking around. I was checking my phone and playing something that I am recently hooked on. It was relaxing…
S0 I learned that that bar I was in was owned by two local musicians and ten other. I learned they do not serve smaller dishes for a smaller, intimate group of “just me”.
I tried to people watch. I can barely eavesdrop as i was not able to hear any whisper from the other table.
The whole activity made me smile.
On my way home after watching the much-awaited MOCKING JAY, I had one thought bothering me : What is with Bella (the girl from Twilight) and Katniss playing with two loves? It’s amusing and annoying at the same time.
I was annoyed that they seem to be promoting that it’s ok to be “committed” and still be considering other guys. It’s so…. making sure you have a spare tire. It’s never fair for either one. In all angles and regardless of the guilty gender, it is simply painful. BUT it’s current reality I guess then?
Who else felt that way? Was it just me?
Communication has been a curiosity to me lately.We think that “language barrier” means not being able to understand what the other person is saying because they are using their native language which is not your native language.
When I started taking up French classes and told my friends about it, one friend commented that he hated computer programming when we were in college because he does not adapt well to learning new languages. Connecting French and Computer language may seem funny at that time but he explained that most of the time, we blame logic but really it is language barrier that makes us misunderstand things.
And the thought made me realize the same is true even if we are using the same language. This happens even in our everyday work. Business-wise we use English so everyone will be able to understand but somehow middle of the project we realize that although we do use the same language it seems that misunderstanding will still occur.
And this personal project that I am up to made me laugh. For something so simple as a rolling pin, I found it really hard to draw the rolling pin used for baking so I thought what else could a rolling pin look like…?
I did not do any better justice to the thing but it did make me laugh.. i came up with this: