“Ate alam mo naman, ang kasinungalingan at chismis kapag paulit ulit mong naririnig, tinatanggap at pinapasa, nagiging parang totoo.”
That is one fact one of our youths who I mentor every once in a while said to me one Sunday afternoon while we were catching up on what is in and around our church, our ministry, our fellowship outside the church and our relationships with our families.
Learning about her story and the things God taught her from since I guiltily felt she is not progressing or not wanting to, has been very humbling. Unto the broken, God ministers Himself in ways the Pharisee in us will not be able to. That is one thing I learned with that sunday afternoon talk. His grace breaks through the barrier of “shoulds” in a Pharisee’s mind and holds the heart of the broken-hearted. The pharisee in us will break that heart even more but God holds it and heals it.
The cycle of the broken only God understands – only Paul is able to put into words (paraphrased) :
The good I want to do I cannot do. I am in constant battle with myself.
I have been away mostly from church interactions lately. God has been gracious to show me His presence, majesty and creativity through my travels with my friends. And constant interest in knowing what and how my friends think has been His blessing as well. The clash of belief, upbringing, established philosophies in life differences are not one bloody nor heart-tearing but they were educational.
in just a few sample of the population this whole earth holds, it is a very veey wonderful knowledge that God loves and understands all of us and would listen to all of us and delight in all of us. His love portrayed on the cross helps me try to think differently at how I should be dealing with them. I am not one compassionate person when it comes to salvation, grace, love, repentance and forgiveness. I am very quick to shake my head at a misdeed that I know no claiming Christian should be doing.
The fine line that separates a Christian and non-Christian has blurred out even long before my talk with my disciple. it was confirmed blurred out that Sunday after with her and one bad conversation night with a non-Christian friend.
I can pinpoint a lot of lies the Pharisees, the mere spectators, the weak, the poor, the rich and proud, the learned and the unschooled, and the Christians believed and believes in and see myself among one of them in moments of my own weakness.
While my heart breaks and I scratch my head as to how I can lead people to Christ more without making them feel judged. God led me to recall the scenario He has been placing in my head since last year:
With the crowd jeering at him.
The crowd was a mixture of mere spectators.
Sadly some of them were his friends.
Blood dripping from the thorn on his head,
he looks at the crowd,
“Forgive them Father For they do not know what they are doing.”
and I think thats true. a lot of times because we are in the fallen world we are played for by our own weakness in wanting to have a command of our own actions when matter of fact we do not know. we are moving in i the strings of lies first weaved on by that serpent on the tree.
Even our free will was corrupted.
Knowing this, actually softens my hard-headed what should be. None of us can actually perfect our steps on our own we are, will be and will forever be dependent on His grace lest none of us should boast.
SO I shall continue in small steps to point everyone to the man on the cross – whose death should have been ours but in his great love, He gave us another stab at practicing our free will – to choose rightly, and understand and experience His love.